The Many Adventures of Super Trin

May All Your Dreams Come True

2011-03-08T08:45:00.000-05:00

I'm Loving 2011 So far!!
I'm kinda in a Mid-life Crisis... I got a HUGE new Tattoo. I cut off my hair, I got Red Highlights, and volunteer at teh YMCA, i'm helping out Thrifty Choices next to the convience store. I'm applying for jobs.
I just applied at Sam's Club Bakery! I'm ECSTATIC! I really Really Hope that I get it! My friend and "competition" let me know about the job opening, I truly hope i get it. but if i do, i will probably quit Beverage Express. I mean this is a DREAM type of job, a thing i never thought I'd be able to do!!
Things are falling into place... it's a GREAT year.
Now just to get Pearl Ann enrolled in a VPK

Baby Shower for Sister-in-law

2011-02-27T22:46:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, me and Mother in law (MIL) had a baby shower for Heathur. Since she wasn't able to have her first once because she went into labor the day before the shower, we wanted to go all out. and boy did we. BUT... none of Heathur's friends came to this surprise baby shower after saying they would, which was sad... but I think she still had fun. we played guess the poop (really its a candy bar mushed in a baby diaper. I made a big Diaper tier center piece, around decoupaged hat boxes that i was up til 3am doing with my flour paste. Made a baby cake also. A guest brought two more diaper tiers. They were even better!! Using ONESIES!!! I never even thought of that!!Here are some Photos...

In other news... DH had a root canal that went sour and is all waa waaa baby.. LOL. He wasn't even able to drive. So i have been mad crazy all week, what with driving him, the YMCA campaign stuff, and the baby shower, and I went to a Jeff Dunham "concert" on Thursday which i must say was AMAZING!!! even tho our seats weren't that great, it still was HILARIOUS! Tomorrow my Friend Shannon is taking me to get a tattoo, this will be my 3rd tattoo, and yet still to this day i have never paid for one LOL!
Life is busy! I also just filled out an application to work at the YMCA, and am filling one out for Pearlann to start VPK!

Coupon Fever

2011-02-18T20:32:00.000-05:00

I always had Coupon fever, dabbled here and there. Clipping coupons for the name brand items I had to have. Basically throwing the rest away. Then I discovered PRINTABLE coupons!! OH MY! What is THIS? So long as you have decent priced int (not $60 to refill it) this is an AMAZING tool. So i was going to Walmart (the cheapest place in town for just about anything) and saving 20$ a week with my coupons. Which i thought was AMAZING! Then i learned about local stores doing this thing known as Buy One get One deals they run a different one each week! REALLY!?!?! But is it really Cheaper my critical brain asked? So I did some research of my stores. WOW it actually was cheaper. For me, both stores that offer b1g1 deals are less then 3 miles in each direction. WinnDixie offers BOGO's on meat! how amazing!

Today i went to Publix i bought 8 Tortino's Party Pizza's at 4/$5
2 Ball Park Turkey Franks (hotdogs)
2 V8 fusion liter drinks
3/$5 Mott's apple juice
12 Progresso Soups
2 32 pks of Finish Dish wash
2 bertolli alfredo sauce
and 2 Macaroni Grill meals
this should have cost me $98
I Paid $44.58!!!
The Progresso, V8, BallPark, Spaghetti Sauce and the Macaroni Grill Meals were all buy one get one free. I had Coupons for all but the V8 and the Sauce!!!

Then I went to winn-dixie and Spent $34 and saved $33.46 all on BOGO meats! I got a Tender loin well two actually! lol and Pork Chops, and Boneless chicken breasts! and some nestle hot coco (cause they had mint, and it was BOGO too! )

Total Saving so far for this weeks Groceries? $86.79. An I still need to get some staples type stuff that arent BOGO from wally world with my coupons. which will average about another i'll round down and say 15$ in coupons. so This week I will have spent $125 and saved $100!!!

Now me and Hubby are about to go have a mini date with our Ice Cream coupons
Good Night Moms

Parent Book

2011-01-22T20:24:00.000-05:00

Parent Book

by Tiffany Schmidt on Sunday, January 2, 2011 at 11:09pm (posted on FB)

I think that when you have your first child and any child you should get a book, a book of directions telling you how to get their names changed and how long you have, directions on medicaid, directions on getting their birth certificates, directions on enrolling them into VPK, enrolling them in school, rules on your options as a parent. And not have nurses who lie to you and say no you cant put her first name as Pearl Ann, it has to be Pearl and her middle name Ann Marie.

I think a Mother should come up with this book and sell it to the hospitals or even GIVE it to the hospitals, to give to the parents. And this author should keep it updated to the new laws, and how the things change over the years so that when a mother goes back to have another child, she has a new update book.

I found out through my YMCA that to enroll my daughter in VPK i need a voucher! WHAT? so that means I need to get off my but and fix Pearlann's name on her Birth Certificate, oh wait you CAN'T because I was the procrastinator, after a year you need and this is from the application instructions-

"Amending name(s) of registrant up to the registrant’s first (1st) birthday. After 1 year from the date of birth, a
change to a registrant’s name (other than a correction which can be support by documentary evidence) will be
processed upon receipt of a legal change of name issued from a court of competent jurisdiction;"

What evidence??? I have NO paper work on my daughter, other then her SSC. I'm Lost, what happen to the day's when you were given the birth certificate BEFORE you left the hospital? why is everything a pile of mumbo-jumbo??

Why couldn't have my nurse just did what i asked and put her name as Pearl Ann? Why did i procrastinate everything, not that it really matters I didn't have internet til after she was a year anyways, and lord knows i was busy. What as a new young mother, going to work, newly married, and supporting my husband (mentally) through school.
There needs to be a book, to help parents. To help mothers such as myself, who have NO CLUE about how any of this works, who didn't realize the birth certificate wasn't going to be automatically sent to you free of charge til after she had her second child. This book needs to be made fore EVERY STATE. Being a Mother is stressful enough with all of the recall's, to breast feed not to breast feed, rear-face til 7 years old, which cartoon's are okay for my kid to watch, potty training, to co-sleep or no to co-sleep, that's just SOME of the thoughts of a mother. Lord forbid she work's.

We need a book, please give us a little bit of help. Just because we had kids does NOT mean we are INSTANTLY going to know everything there is to know about getting them into school or getting insurance. Mother's are ignorant until taught, through trial and error, or from wisdom of another mother.

GIVE ME A BOOK!

Protective

2011-01-22T20:19:00.000-05:00

So my Grandfather was diagnosed with Mesothelioma Plural. He was doing a special type of chemo for it up in Maryland. But the last time was way to harsh on him, so he has decided to refuse Chemo. He was given a year to live back in Sept. We shall see....

Pearlann had a Great Birthday, and man, a 4 year old girl... might as well be 16. The attitude, the sighs, the crankiness, the back mouthing...

Onyx is still my little boy, but my nephew and Brother in law and almost-sister-law (who is pregnant) has been staying here. So Onyx is no longer the baby, he is having some jealousy issues with that... I notice they protect each other though. Riley (my nephew) bit Pearlann the other day, and onyx walked right up and hit him in the head. LOL. (wrong to laugh but it's kinda cute) They know the other has a special toy, and if Riley touches it, they run up and grab it and bring it to the other...

Pam starts VPK this august, i just learned i need to get her a VOUCHER for it?!?! WHAT?!?! Someone from the YMCA told me about it. Sigh... So i have to get her Birth Certificate which is a new Post all in it's self.

I'm now owner of Club Siggy Addicts with Leslie and Shawna. We are having 2 parties, i'm excited!!! Been Tagging like crazy, oh and i lost more hours at work... blah

Recent Memories and Condolences

2010-11-03T17:29:00.000-04:00

Pearlann has made some heart retching comments since being sick that I wanted to Share.
She asked "whats wrong with me?" all sad and heavy eyed...
The next day she said she was going to go potty, she is in there a while and i walk in and see her sitting on the bathroom floor, i sit down with her. "whats wrong?" "i gonna get sick mommy." "aww baby" "mommy..." "what hunny?" "i have to get better."
then later GMA Carol asked PAM if her lips were chapped, like a 3 year old knows where she has chapped lips or not. PAM responds with "i have no lips, they aren't beautiful anymore."
then last night i got home JUST in time for kisses and lullaby's, and Pearlann grabs me and says "mommy don't go. Stay with me. I missed you! I need you."

SNIFFLES!!!

On another note, Onyx OMG is NOT listening, and has a jealous streak a mile long!!!

also i wanna put out my condolences out to two friends who have lost a parent this week. It's difficult to imagine life with out a a parent in it anymore. I can't imagine your loss. But i here for you for anything thing you need. They will live on in your heart. I know that in both cases they were sick for a long time. Try to remember the good times, not the sad. Much Love to Jackie and Stephanie.

You miss me?

2010-11-03T17:08:00.000-04:00

Life has been Hectic, as it usually is, kyle is trying out for a new job. he passed his first test. Now we wait the interview date.
Getting ready for Xmas and Pearlann's Birthday.
I just picked up The layaway from Kmart. Almost all done w the xmas shopping just waiting for the Infamous Black Friday.

Pearlann had bronchitis and an ear infection, then gotta better, then onyx caught an ordinary cold, which Pam then caught w her weakened immune system, and its beating her up! She was Horrible sick for Halloween, didn't even wanna get dressed in her princess dress. Onyx LOVED being a Rock-Star!!! but because pam was sick, she didn't wanna Trick-or-treat, we only did one street, Onyx had fun tho...

But yeah, Nothing major been happening, working and zumba and tending to kids and a house... nothing else exciting LOL.

we have been sick

2010-08-02T12:29:00.000-04:00

Started Tuesday night for the kids, up all night. i would lay with onyx, get him calm, then Pearlann would wake up, i had to hop to her bed get her calm, then Onyx wakes up, there was a lot of hopping from bed to bed. Kyle came home Thursday night, started getting sick Saturday. We went to the beach Saturday to help clear out our sinus's that was.. well NOT HELPFUL!

So of course I've been sick, which made the house fall to the wayside.. sigh.. gonna be a lot of catching up.

Friday i go to Winter Haven to pick up my step-cousin, who i haven't seen in at LEAST 11 years, to take her to Interlachen to get her car from Grandpa Woody. I'm also bringing my 16 year old sister, and my Friend Shannon. This will be an interesting drive. If Katie (cousin) can drive the car back to her place, then it will only be a 9-11 hour drive (not counting stops) if Katie can't drive her car then well that adds another 3 hours to the drive time...
I'm sleepy.. hope the cold is gone soon.

P.S. cake classes start soon

Back from Vacation and then some

2010-07-22T00:53:00.000-04:00

Hey stalkers!
I got back from "vacation" on Sunday. had fun. was very very very very busy and constantly going, but it was fun. Lets see the run down.
Thursday
Dropped off Pearlann @ my moms, Arrived at hotel after stopping for dinner in town and then turning around to come back to get kyle cell phone (which he misplaced 3 more times ON the trip) Got a crying phone call from Pearlann saying she wanted to go home.
Friday
We woke up about 8ish, had breakfast hit 4 outlet stores, a flea market, and arrived at Old Town at 1030, they don't open til 11. Wondered around Old Town til they did start to open, came up with a game plan. We then went to Downtown Disney just a smallish place, well actually downtown Disney includes, the Marketplace, which is a lot of Disney shops, then that connects to pleasure Island, and that to West Side. my legs HURT after that. Then we went to hotel and changed and then went to Old Town for drinks.and more wandering around
Saturday
Slept in didn't get moving til about 1030. Had Breakfast int he hotel. then went to Premium Outlets. I love to window shop! (poor kyle doesn't) then Went to the Florida Mall. Then got lost for 2 hours looking for Dickie's Outlets, which is in PRIME outlet mall. lol. Found that, realized it was in that mall said ok we will do this tomorrow. Then went to hotel swapped cloths in less then 5 minutes (this included dress, heels, and make up and hair {i know I'm proud too}) then went to Capones Dinner Theatre. it was a BLAST! Unlimited Drinks, all you can eat (no i did not get trashed) I did get trash talked about my cleavage though. LOL. got back to hotel about midnight.
Sunday
Up about 9 had breakfast at a buffet hit the PRIME outlet stores. and then we went home. Where kyle then had to pack up for North Carolina for work.
And that's our "vacation" our legs HURT!
Monday tho My friend Stephanie hooked me up with some Shape-ups. lol, my legs now hurt more LOL.

Today was nice, played tag with the kids, brought them to the mall play park, got McD's as a little treat. As i Laid Onyx down i realized he was laying on cars sheets, on a cars pillow, covered with a cars sheet, cars blanket, a cars towel (yes a towel) drinking a cars cup while wearing a cars shirt. it was really rather cute. Tomorrow is a Hair cut.

Good Night friends and stalkers.
Brightest Blessings.

a day of horomones and more memories

2010-07-14T22:15:00.000-04:00

Hormones suck giant hairy monkey balls. Just so that everyone knows. Ever feel just like you have missed everything? I have been a stay at home mom since last October. Yet, everything becomes routine, to where you forget how special things are. Memories i realized i had today in the few short hours i was home while the kids were awake.
I got off work at 4pm, got home about 415. Onyx ran yelling to the front door "MOMMY! YOU HOME! Hi Mommy!" he ran and gave me a hug. It was sweet. I picked him up and got an ever bigger hug. He didn't want me to put him down. But alas i had to cook dinner.
Random Memories
Onyx telling Pearlann he loves her
Onyx getting in the bath with arm floaties
Pearlann singing ABCs while i brushed her hair
watching them stand in their bedroom window yelling (in a funny cute way) outside at the same time to the kids out side
laying on pearlann's bed while both kids sit on my back bouncing
hearing pearlann on the phone with "cindawewa" say "sure" and telling onyx "quiet im on the phone"
my kids telling knock knock jokes, even onyx trying LOL
Pearlann covering me up on her bed, giving me her pillow
then onyx taking my hand and pulling me over to his bed to cuddle, then him pushing me off his bed LOL
Watching princess sing alongs w my two munchkins on their beds
Onyx pointing out the parts on my face
playing tag chasing the kids through the house
reading onyx a Dr. Suess book
hearing onyx laugh when i give him a squeaky kiss
seeing his big bright white smile that could make the Grinch's heart grow 3 sizes
hearing onyx say I love you
Pearlann begging for me to lay her down to bed
Pearlann wanting me to sing her a lullaby
and a good night kiss.

many great memories today.
Today is my 4 year anniversary.

Making Memories

2010-07-12T11:36:00.000-04:00

Ever since i started working again, i notice i am missing the kids more. I feel like i dont see themalmost at all. When i come home from work i ask kyle what he did. He usually says nothing. So i always ask, "well what kind of memories did you make with the kids?" Last night he replied back with "what kind of memories did you make?" So every day i am gonna make a new memory with my children.

Today Onyx and I went to the Verizon Wireless store to get my phone replaced. He was such a good boy. He took some stuff off the racks, but he put them back when ever i asked him too. He made me very proud. When it was time to go tho, i told him to pick up one last thing, he told me no and went to walk away, i caught him, the Verizon guy came up and said "He's ok I got it." i responded with "I'm teaching a lesson." The Verizon guy seemed stunned and walked away. Onyx picked it up and put it back all by himself after another lil "where does this go?"

Then we went to walmart to pick up a few items before my annual "honeymoon" trip. I went to the toy section first. He picked out a $1 recorder (even tho he already has 2 LOL). Well i grabbed 2 of the fourth of july sets of plastic bowls and he decided to "drum" them. He hands me the recorder all cute like, and says "PLAY!" So i played the recorder through out the store while he banged on the bowls.

Then we got $2 worth of 25 cent balls from the machine. He was such a HAPPY CAMPER!

Pearlann was shopping with grandma carol making thier own memories.

when 2 stay at home moms get bored

2009-11-20T23:02:00.000-05:00

My good friend, michelle sent me a text message of
"I'm Bored. Entertain me"
So i started a story

Trin- "Once upon a time there was..."

Michelle - "A frog that was once a

Trin- Troll who had angered the laughing witch by

Michelle- Making her want to have

His giant

Pretty peen in her.

He put it in her virgin hand and she

Stroked his lenght as a bead

Of sweat fell from his forehead. He then

Leaned into kiss her on the

Teet. She then slapped his

Face as he gave her the best

Squirt of jizz in her

Eye as she tried to

Duck. Thus upsetting her. She turned him into

A frog with a gaint pretty peen.

That wouldn't let him

Hop away so he had to service her by

means of his long tounge and peen that no longer could

Go down. As he pushed into her, she

Laughed because he wouldn't orgasm and jizz unless

She grabbed his smooth

Peen and let a princess

Ride his tounge until she

Creamed on his face but alas the witch

Would not find a princess because she didn't want

To share her prized sex slave then one day

As the witch was in the middle of

Getting her 4th daily pleasure. She heard

A girl yell that she needed a

A teacher to learn how to

Ride a peen bareback.

The witch was so impressed by the princess's

Blow job skills. As she watched her

Service the local ogre. The witch watched the princess's tits bounce as

She slid her toungue along the orge's dick and sac. Spit was

Hanging from her mouth then the ogre

Grunted as he creamed all over her mouth as the princess

Swallowed all she could. Some of the jizz

dripped down her chin. As the witch leaned in she licked the salty cream from

And thus ended todays part of the story, just wanted to share lol, yeah it was suppose to be something cute and funny, but sigh, tells you where our minds were

Potty Training Adventure of a Proud Mother

2009-11-12T23:34:00.002-05:00

So pearlann had 3 days of not going on the toilet PERIOD. Then, the house went back to normal, where it was only mommy again. daddy is away, Gma at work. Back to the grind. She went monday morning like nothing ever happened over the weekend. Fine by me. Tuesday just another day, goes wonderfully to go pee. Suddenly, while onyx napped, Pam was quiet with her doll house.... then i hear a Grunt... " Pearlann need to go poop on the potty?" "N-ooooo....ugh" I walk out the room, to see a sweaty and redfaced daughter. I tell her to go sit on the potty. she obliges me. She is constipated... pretty good. she had 3 tiny poops in her pants, not enough to really count.

I sit her up on the toilet, set her up with a TV tray and carry in her doll house, and bring her a cup of "koolaid". This is also known as mommy mixed your drink with Magnesium Citrate, a mild laxitive. I wait. I expect at LEAST 30 mins. I walk out to smoke a cigarette. I hear "MOMMY!! PEARLANN DID IT!!!!" from the front porch. I assume ok a tiny poop again. I come in and say great job, keep going. Walk back out to take another drag, and come back in. She says she's all done. I sigh, thinking great she is gonna finish in her pants, be cause she is impatient like her mother (not that i poop my pants lol). I take her off....

Now of COURSE i'm going to LOOK! What would anyone do.

I looked and flipped out! I was jumping and giving her hugs! I mean this was a SINGLE turd her DADDY would be proud of! Daddy size! I didnt know what else to do....

So I took a picture on my cell. I didnt just leave it at that... i then sent said picture to friends and family. Now this wasnt the cute oh my Daughter sitting on the toilet picture nooooooooo..... This was the inside the toilet.

The response to this picture varied from the nice friends sending a text back saying "good Job Pam!", to my husband saying "I really didnt need to see that.", to the phone calls of my mother "did you REALLY just send me a picture of your daughters poop??????"

Yes, I am a PROUD mother.

Potty Training Dilema

2009-11-08T09:47:00.002-05:00

Pam for the past 3 days, has quit going potty in the toilet. She was doing soooo good. She pad even went "poopy" in the toilet last week. I'm so confused. She was doing great, was basically done. Now, she QUIT. She is using the potty pants like a Diaper. I cant have that. What do i do? sigh, so today i decided to try big girl underwear. We will see how that works. sigh, anyone have any advice?

Sleepless in Tampa

2009-11-07T00:29:00.000-05:00

So as I have trouble sleeping, I'm playing on mini (my netbook) and watching the dvr of the Mentalist, I hear a noise. My daughter is talking in her sleep. "Yay, i did it." Now this is something she says when she goes pee. Followed by, "No, it's all gone." Constant random things over and over. It's cute, yet i wonder is it good for her to have this type of interupted sleep? She takes long naps, and i think this might be why.

ok i need to go, shes suddenly walking in her sleep.

Sweet Crackily Voice

2009-10-30T21:08:00.000-04:00

My kids are sick, both of them. But they react differently to being sick. My son, Onyx, is just like his father. He wipes his nose and keeps going, nothing else happens to him. Now Pearlann... She is her mother's Daughter. Just like me, it hits her HARD and for days. Today, is the first day of voice loss. A little 3 year old with a cracking voice. It melts even the coldest of hearts. When she cries and wants a hug, and tries to do the high pitched scream, she can't. it is so adorable.

Oh and i JUST noticed she has a CLEFT CHIN!

little aside to those who read about the Verizon FIASCO. Well, I was on the phone yesterday from 915ish a.m. til 120ish p.m. FINALLY got the online account to work after 6 different people. It was done and over. Free online shipping and they arrived today, all 5. Verizon was nice and waved the 10$ contacts transfer fee. So now i have a new blackberry Curve. I'm not all that impressed. Mainly cuz the Verizon version of the Yahoo instant messager App. is CRAP. Doesn't have the contact groups, or all my 30 smileys only 12. The big kicker for me is that i cant create a personal status update. It also sends me a message twice from who i'm chatting with. But i'll deal.

Hope everyone has a Happy Halloween

Phone Issues

2009-10-29T01:04:00.001-04:00

Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.

~Joe Bob Briggs

We had Alltel. Which as many of you know is now owned by Verizon. Well, we have five lines on our contract; my husband, me, my mom, my 16 yr old sister, and my step-father. My sister and step father's phones are not working properly. They need new ones, and one was coming to an upgrade come January. Now, I had heard rumors that if you upgraded you ahd to do all at once or something along those lines, so I called.

Ever try making an important phone call with two sick kids? Word of advice, wait til nap time... If your kids take naps. I am lucky enough to get a nice patient lady. I asked her my questions and am told along the lines that:
A. When you renew and join the verizon team from Alltel, that they wont charge you cancellation fees.
B. You HAVE to a buy new phone.... for every single line.

Ok... NEW PHONES.. when 3 of the 5 phones are still working just fine. I start panicing about the costs. Then hop online (at 30 second intervals, do to clingy sick children) found GREAT prices for new phones, most free... Catch: online only.

Called back this morning, asked if i could renew everything online, they said yes. I was told that i could get the phones online then once i recieve the phones, when i go in to activate my phones i'd pick out my plan then. AWESOME! Super easy!

I get everyone to finally pick out thier phones, come 7pm. After much debate with my mother, who can never make a decision about anything. i got to put them in my cart. then they ask me to pick a plan... wait, huh? So I sign in, after switching from my alltel sign in to a verizon login. then go to put the phones in my cart again, only to be told i cant.

Ring ring. Get to a real Person, they switch me to website control, was on hold... on hold.... Lady comes to the phone saying something along lines saying sorry, for hold, there was a problem, see your not actually suppose to get the upgrade til its time for at least one phone to be upgraded. But, we are gonna honor what you were told, i just have to reset everyline for them to all be eligiable for upgrade today. So i'll call you back when its done, and then i'll talk you thru the online process.... that was at 9:06pm. Finally at 1030, I called teh special number again that has been called enough that it's now on speed dial. I try to bypass the automated thing, and receive a greating of "Representative hours are from 9am- 10pm."

GRRR. Now what am i suppose to do?
Other then call again in the morning.... BLAH.

An ADD Mother

2009-10-27T21:04:00.000-04:00

I have just recently found out I have ADD. I never new it. I have always been called the schedule nazi. Reason for this is because everything had to planned. Down to pee breaks. If anything didnt go according to plan, i'd basically have a nervous breakdown. I just thought i was Kooky. I have always led a routine life. There was the routine of school, and work, then the Army. Routine went out the window when i had kids. Then i noticed that me teh wanna be english professor couldnt speak properly anymore (proper as in i couldnt say teh word that i wanted to say).

My brain is going too fast, i cant consintrate. So bad that if my consintration is broken, i tweek (not tweet). I am trying to be a non-spanking mother. I flipped out the other day and spanked and i yelled, i screamed. I am usually one of those annoyingly quiet moms that just speak in a low monatone voice to my kids when they throw a tantrum. Well, i am the one having tantrums.

So finally, i was wondering what is up with me. After yet another arguement with my husband, about me needing to say what i mean. My Mother-in-law, lightly mentioned Adult ADD. She was saying it in such a calm way that was her actually talking about herself, yet considering she is a hostage negotiator for the SWAT team, i knew she was trying to hint at me, let it be my idea.

So google here i came. Type: Adult ADD... Click Search. The top link was a quiz. Oh, come on of course i was curious, even if it was a fake quiz (it wasnt really a fake one, but that was my first thought). Top score is 100 = YOU NEED TO SEEK HELP NOW. I sc ored a 96. Now i was curious. I went to another search for symptoms... oh my gawd. The described me almost to a T. So yes i am self diagnosing my self. Til i find a doctor to do so for me.

So now, i understand myself a bit more. I'm relieved, yet scared. My mind now as fast as it was already gonning, is now analyzing everything i do. everything i say. even the post that im typing now.

I dotn have a filter, i say or type with out going thru my brain first, there is no thought process to normal activites, big ones yes. not everyday stuff. I feel like i've lost my mind. and i have felt this way for over a year.

talking to a friend of mine didnt help much. She scared me about the medications. Now, i am reading up on how to handle and maintain with out the medications, cuz ive done it before. but i dont really think i will have a full handle on things til kids are in school or i am in my own house. (i live with my mother-in-law)

So i just typed so that i wouldnt have a break down with my 2 sick kids. Now both are in my room, Pearlann with her juice cup in my face screaming mommy in my ear, Onyx is in my filing cabinet, and with that i bid you ado